yes i am a dork

[Beautiful~Mistake]

i looooooove this song...

Climbing up on solsbury hill
I could see the city light
Wind was blowing, time stood still
Eagle flew out of the night

He was something to observe
Came in close, I heard a voice
Standing stretching every nerve
I had to listen had no choice

I did not believe the information
Just had to trust imagination
My heart was going boom boom, boom
Son, he said, grab your things, I?ve come to take you home.

To keeping silence I resigned
My friends would think I was a nut
Turning water into wine
Open doors would soon be shut

So I went from day to day
Tho? my life was in a rut
?till I thought of what I?d say
Which connection I should cut

I was feeling part of the scenery
I walked right out of the machinery
My heart was going boom boom boom
Hey, he said, grab your things, I?ve come to take you home.
Yeah back home

When illusion spin her net
I?m never where I want to be
And liberty she pirouette
When I think that I am free

Watched by empty silhouettes
Who close their eyes, but still can see
No one taught them etiquette
I will show another me

Today I don?t need a replacement
I?ll tell them what the smile on my face meant
My heart was going boom boom boom
Hey, I said, you can keep my things, they?ve come to take me home.

[Beautiful~Mistake]

2 years..
2 wonderful years..
i don't even get a goodbye..
or a fuck you
it's just... here today
gone tomorrow

though i'm trying
to get on
i've seen people since then
but i guess a part of me
still loves him..

why is it that we need closure...

i find myself saying...
if he came back..
i'd take him back in a heartbeat

but would i?

if you ever read this..
i do love you...
and i wish i knew why you left..

you thought i'd be the one to pussy out...

[Beautiful~Mistake]

i had something to say but i forgot it

*thinks..

[Beautiful~Mistake]

3 days ago
i was sure i was going to get off this island
after my first month was over
but now..
i'm not even sure i'll get out of this apartment..
i don't want to leave the island..
or i guess..
i don't want to leave bc..
i want to stay in this area..
but
not if it's not worth it..
how do you put a time line
on finding out
if it's worth staying for

because..
time's running short..

[Beautiful~Mistake]

someone told me last night..
(yeah, i heart you [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img] )
that it's so nice..
to hear me talk about
emotions
and acting like a..
human being

without the... inner turmoil
was the words she used...

i look into the mirror...
and i see life in my eyes...
i feel..
in tune

yet soooo lost..

[Beautiful~Mistake]

it's strange..
how we could sit
with someone we barely know
and feel so comfortable

why is it that we could know someone only a few days
or a few weeks, even
but still feel as if we've known them
our entire lives

we speak like old friends..

[Beautiful~Mistake]

how does one sort emotions?

[Beautiful~Mistake]

all these feelings are real..
but i don't know how to place them
..
what is the word for this

[Beautiful~Mistake]

it's not until just recently
that i've realized how sick i am..

[*Olivia*]

well lil one...i think the force running through you right now is that word you keep realizing you use....realize...and yup i had to use it there too

realization is such a powerful thing, it can stop you dead in your tracks and take your breath away...and it can clear all the fog and uncertainty...it can make you reach down and grab hold of who you really are

it's not always comfortable to realize...but when it's time, it's time....

i'm sorry you got no closure, perhaps it will still come one day...some people can't do it, they just walk away without an explanation or argument, they simply turn and walk away

for some others, it takes them time to be able to verbalise the feelings, the reasons...but paige some never do...and that has to be ok too, ultimately *S*

hugs